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    There are a lot of things to be said about and to an alcoholic by the people who love and care for them. However if the alcoholic doesn't acknowledge they have a problem that has messed up their life and alienated everyone around them, they will never change the behavior. Today I took a phone call from my DS's step daughter. She informed me that her father had passed away 3 days ago (about the same time my DS was undergoing her surgery). My ex-brother-in-law was found in the middle of his livingroom this morning-dead from bleeding out. His liver had been under the constant barrage of alcohol for 30-40 years and must have finally given out. He died alone and wasted away from his booze abuse. He and my DS could have had a wonderful retirement together if he had only gotten into a program to stop his drinking. But he thought that was a stupid thing and he was in complete control. How sad that humans make such terrible mistakes when they are not in control of their actions.
    We are very sad that Bob ended his life alone and suffering and pray that he finally is at peace. DS and Bob have been divorced for 5 years, his 2 daughters disowned him 15 years ago because they couldn't stand how he was behaving, his only friend was a woman who lived near him and spent a lot of time sponging off him when he was in his cups and using him as a source of money...with or without his permission. All in all the past 18 years of his life have been all downhill and today the trip ended. He was a smart man, and a kind man and a loving father until the alcohol pushed it all out of his life. Our prayers are for his eternal peace.


    Living in the beautiful Carson Valley of Western Nevada

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      Oh Karen I'm so sorry for you and your sister especially, to have lived thru that. This is so hard for me as a sister and I'm taking it especially personal just now for some reason. But I can't even imagine how hard it is on a spouse. What you described I've been thru with my sister and am feeling like I need to force myself to let go. But what you described as your BIL's end is my worst nightmare too. Give your sister a hug from me (since she knows we here at TQS have been praying for her anyway) and tell her I have only an idea but an idea of her pain and congratulate her for moving on.

      More bad news on my front I'm afraid. My mom is going downhill fast and is in a bad way today with an upper respiratory infection. She won't eat or drink so may be transported to the hospital today if they can't get hydration at least going. Thank you for your prayers.

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        Patti your DS and DM are fortunate to have you there with them. It is a difficult time for all of you right now. I pray that you don't have to go through finding your DS like my BIL also. One can only hope and pray that the light goes on for her before the worst can happen. Try to take time to care for yourself during all this. The stress can do such horrible things to the caregivers. I'm also praying that you are given the strength to get through this and for the doctors to give the correct care they each need. Karen


        Living in the beautiful Carson Valley of Western Nevada

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          Patti - Sending hugs and prayers! I don't know the answer,but I do believe you can find it in the Lord! God Bless you as you work through the difficulties with your sister! Mary Kay

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            Julie and Karen - Sending prayers to each of you and your families! Mary Kay

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              Hi All -- Our daughter just called her boyfriend's father had a heart attack at 3 a.m. this morning and passed away. 58 years old - and very sudden. Her boyfriend is an only child and his dad is his best friend. They are both young to have to deal with this.

              Sharon

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                praying!

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                  Sharon that is sad I hope he can find a way to tell with it. My dad passed away 17 years ago on St. Patricks day and this was the frist St Patricks day that I were the green I still miss my dad and in time they will be able to go on just be there for them and hug them a lot because they will need it Happy

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                    I haven't posted for a while (how can someone who is retired get so darned busy?) But have been reading and praying all along.

                    Patti, I know right now your load is heavy but just remember you can only carry what you can control. Give the rest up to that Higher Power and stop trying to be the queen and controller of the universe. Just a loving note from your friend. Care and grieve but do not try to control.

                    To Ritzy, have fun with your quilt for your Isabelle, Our Isabelle will be twelve next week and is more dear every day The time goes past so fast. Just "yesterday" she was a babe in arms. Grandma's lose track of time. LOL

                    To the rest of you, I read your prayer requests and remember them each day and know that many of you pray for me. I feel your love and concern daily even when life does not let me reply as often as I would like. Just remember I care.

                    Ann who is healthy, happy and busy at the moment.

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                      Ann, it is good to hear from you. Like you, I have been busy, and Jeremy is home this week from Indiana. I have been trying to "be still" and pray and asking for guidance to understand and know His will concerning my mom and my 'reason for being' This move east and the empty nest has been difficult for me. So you all are in my prayers and I thank you for yours for me.
                      Joan

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                        thank you to everyone who has sent me e mails or made comments regarding my seeming absence from TQS and the forum and special thanks to all of you who pray for me. I know that prayers can do wonders (And Brink- your good thoughts help too).

                        I just had an iron infusion yesterday (so don't walk near me with a magnet or I will be stuck to you permanently LOL) and am feeling much better already. I had gotten so tired before the iron infusion that I am still sleeping a lot but finally today feel half way human again and can face my sewing room with joy. The last iron infusions lasted seven months and probably would have lasted longer if I hadn't had a bleeding episode three weeks ago. So here is hoping that this infusion will hold as long as the other ones did and I will have an event free summer.

                        Hugs and love to all of you, Ann

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                          Good news Ann! I'm hoping for an infusion or something to work on this gut of mine! I will have another MRI on Tuesday, and then maybe a gastric emptying scan. This bloat gets in the way at the sewing machine!! And just try to put on shoes! Reminds me of the pregnant days, but then the swollen belly was filled with joy!
                          Joan

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                            Ann so glad you got the iron infusion. I hope it perks up your energy a good deal.

                            I've been in Alabama since a week ago Saturday. Mom passed on Tuesday. Altzheimer's is such a degenerative disease that it's a blessing when the struggle is over. Yet I'm still hit with the shock of her being gone. My sister found my dad's love letters and we had a wonderful time reading them out loud the night mom died and we finally left the nursing home where we were staying in mom's room for 4 days. The letters were lovely and it was a perfect way for myself to end that day. I could imagine my mom and dad having a joyful dance together in heaven.

                            I'm so not at peace however about my sister. She's really in trouble and I hope having some family around this past week to laugh and enjoy will inspire her to make the changes she needs in life.

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                              Patti I'm so sorry to hear that your Mom passed away but what a lovely thought you had of her joining your Dad in a heavenly dance. I'm glad she can be at peace now and hope you and your sister can be comforted by that. I'll keep you and your sister in my prayers and also pray for a change in her lifestyle.

                              Karen
                              Lyndhurst, Ohio USA - East Side Suburb of Cleveland, Ohio

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                                ((Patti))
                                I'm so very sorry to hear of your mothers passing. I'm glad her struggle is over and she is with the man she loves your dear father. The Love letters are so sweet, Picking up where they left off. Its never easy when our love ones go home my heart goes out to you. God will take good care of your Dad & Mom.

                                I'm so sorry that you struggle with your sister drinking problem. I have a brother that also has a drinking problem and he is never nice when he is drinking wants to argue/fight. I hope your sister will choose to get the help she needs.

                                God Bless You & Yours, Love ya Hugzzz ,Kathy
                                Lyndhurst, Ohio USA - East Side Suburb of Cleveland, Ohio

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