The Artist's Way

[eileenkny]

This fits with this weeks chapter. Jimmy's (who's office is next to me) hobby is photography. About a year ago he talked to me about combining his photography and my quilting. He was thinking photo quilts for family history and weddings. I told him it was not feasible unless it was done by machine and I quilt by hand. I brought him my Beth Wheeler book to look at today and you should have seen his eyes light up. He works with PhotoShop and recommended I check with community colleges because you not only learn the program but you can purchase the product at a greatly reduced price. He is very interested in the technique and I am interested in his photographs.

Synchronicity!!!
Eileen

[Margo]

Hey Katzzz, glad to have you here. Are you working through the book? It tells us that we need to avoid the people who make us feel like that and surround ourselves with supportive people. Maybe when you craft gifts (like your hot pads) you could say something like "I made these hot pads and wondered if you would like to have one". Then if they don't want them, you get to keep them to give to someone more appreciative. I, too, have run into insensitive, rude responses to my gifts, but I've come to the conclusion that those people really just aren't worth the effort that it takes to make hand crafted gifts, and I've quit making things for them. That's what gift certificates are for!! LOL!!
As for letting things go....I find that writing it all out on the computer helps me to vent. Then I don't confront the rude people, but I feel better. Sometimes my computer has nearly SMOKED from the passion of my flying fingers!!!

Elizabeth...I'm with you...I would rather be at home than in a guild meeting. When I'm here I can sew to my heart's content, I don't have to work on guild projects that I'm really not interested in, and I can check TQS whenever I take a break! :wink:

[stormymountain]

Perfectionism. My husband is a perfectionist and will look at my work (which he is very supportive of), and will point out the mistakes. The wobbles in quilting or a corner not perfect, or the tension off. I hadn't realized the affect this was having on me until I couldn't get started on quilting the most recent quilt. I appreciate his feedback, and it makes me try harder much of the time. But this time it just blocked me. I think the reason this book is helping is that it reassures us that it is common to feel this way. And this is an issue to work through.

Colleen

[Margo]

Perfectionism. My husband is a perfectionist and will look at my work (which he is very supportive of), and will point out the mistakes. The wobbles in quilting or a corner not perfect, or the tension off. I hadn't realized the affect this was having on me until I couldn't get started on quilting the most recent quilt. I appreciate his feedback, and it makes me try harder much of the time. But this time it just blocked me. I think the reason this book is helping is that it reassures us that it is common to feel this way. And this is an issue to work through.

Colleen

Oh, Colleen! It must be tough to live with the Quilt Police!! YIKES!!
I make a motion that you expain to said officer how his criticism makes you feel and that sometimes he needs to be more gentle with you! He probably isn't aware of how much those comments are affecting you. And you can always come here for a pat on the back and an atta-girl!!! Unless you are making quilts destined for the scrutiny of a show judge, perfect isn't always the destination!

[sandytn]

Colleen I was one of those and didn't even realize it. Not about quilting but it was with my son when he was in school. We always ate dinner together and I would often ask about school, how did you do an a test, grades on reports cards, and I thought I was being supportive by pointing out you made a B, if you had studied you could have made an A-. Finally one day, he asked me why I could never be satisified that if he made 90 I wanted a 95. What I saw and being encouraging and supportive she saw as being critical and never satisified. We talked about it and I understood where he was coming from. Well said Margo.

[jbtaz36]

Katzz, some people are not "quilt worthy". When I made loads of cute little quilts for my DGD, my ex DIL would say, oh another quilt, what on earth am I going to do with another quilt?
Hellllllooooo, they are to play with and sit on and play I Spy with etc. Needless to say, I still make them and they are at my son's house for the girls to play with and use. I made sure everyone of them left her house. So I know how hurtful people can get. My own DH lets me spend the $ to shop but has no interest in my quilts. I get a "that's nice" or "when are you going to sell some" but coming from him that is a compliment. He isn't broken out with compliments nor ever has been.

Maybe I should get that book and start the chapters with you. Judy in AZ

[jbtaz36]

I'm the perfectionist in our family - I grew up with a very critical mother and have never wanted to be like that to my children, so I tend to be most critical with myself.
I loved in chapter 3 how she describes bad criticism vs good criticism. I used the book and made a list so I could see it in front of me. Since I'm most critical with myself, looking at the list is helping me to see if what I'm hearing in my head is helping me or hurting me.
Here's the list I made - but I might have missed some. Please feel free to add on:

Bad criticism:
ridicules
condemns
dismisses
disparages
it's vague & indifferent
shames (uses a shaming voice)
causes withering
often inaccurate
is blanket in its condemnation
ambiguous in content
leaves you feeling bludgeoned

Good criticism:
Shows me a new & valid pathway for work
It will ultimately leave me with one more puzzle piece for my work.

And by the way, Margo - thank you for sharing that quote from Nelson Mandela - that was extremely inspiring!

[jbtaz36]

Margo & Judy
Thank you. I think it feels good to release the negative energy that they have made me feel. I can't imagine myself asking if they would like to have something now I might get an answer that I might be hurt by still. Even though it may sound harsh to give them back the same medicine I think I can do it with out feeling to bad, they don't feel bad so why should I. I've actually had enough of this type of repeated non sense,my group here is a tuff bunch it seems. I have marked off quite afew from my list of giving gifts.
I'm gonna keep to my therapy of expression of giving back what I receive in the kindest of way! LOL!
Kathy

[jbtaz36]

My gosh- reading through this thread is so inspiring--thank you all!!!

[sandytn]

I recommend re-watching Episode 105: Jump-Starting Creativity. So much of what Alex, Ricky and guest Barbara Olson talk about is what we are talking about here. Inspiration, creativity, fear of failure. I'm getting much more out of the episode now than I did the first time I saw it.

[sandytn]

I'm finally going to chime in here :lol: I've very much enjoyed reading everyone's comments! This being my second time through the book, I've had some wonderful feelings of accomplishment in seeing that I've worked through some of the issues you are all expressing here. It's still a process/journey, but I've come a long way.
I chuckled at my notes in the sidelines of the book (from the first time through) about critics and crazymakers. When it comes to quilts, I've overcome those remarks and chalked it up to "perspective". Huge word in my life. It's okay if someone sees my art differently than I do. I, like Jody, have taken the lesson to heart about the different types of criticism. That's likely why you all have noticed my coming to the defense of others when they've been cruelly and unconstructively criticized others publicly here.
I've also finally come to the place that I honor and respect myself enough to remove myself from people who continue to criticize, dismiss, condemn and otherwise attempt to make ME feel "less than", (as a person, here), even when it is my own family. :cry: Although I realize it's my choice as to whether I take a comment as criticism, purposely putting oneself in the line of fire is less than sensible. :? It's unnecessary to go into details because I've put it behind me, and forgiven. When the behaviors continue though, there comes a time to set boundaries and claim such as unacceptable and intolerable. How many times do you put your hand out to be bitten by a dog? Got the picture, I'm sure.
So, I've recovered a sense of safety (week 1), a sense of identity (sense 2), and a sense of power (week 3). Not ALL of this is from the book, but it certainly assisted along the way. Synchronicity put other beneficial people and blessings in my life to accelerate that healing.
Anyhow, it's wonderful to see others grow through this process. It makes a positive difference in our world, and that's important!
My favorite quote from this week is:
"The words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels"
(Hazrat Inayat Khan)
From the Identity chapter:
"Snipers are people who undermine your efforts to break unhealthy relationship patterns". Hmmmm.
(Jody Hayes)
Hugs to everyone!
Jan in Spokane

[sandytn]

Hi, My name is Mary Anne and I have just spent the whole morning reading the posts (13 pages) on the Artist's Way! I had not noticed it in the forum listings before. The past few weeks we have been traveling and going to a family reunion in Estes Park, CO and having fun! Therefore, not much access or time to spend browsing TQS website. I am thrilled to find this forum topic and am very impressed with the honesty all of you have expressed as you work through this book. I looked at this topic because I am trying to find my artist within! Can I join, too? I will get the book ASAP. I am especially intrigued by this book, as I am going to Ricky's retreat that starts 7/27 and am excited and nervous. I get ideas and have a very hard time getting them out onto paper and then into fabric. I have attended several "out of the box" quilting classes and have bought lots of "stuff" to use in the creative things I am going to make. So far, they have just taken up space in my closet. Sometimes I have even been very inspired and excited about what I buy, but it never seems to go any farther than that. I am hoping that I will get "unstuck" when I am in the retreat and that working through TAW will keep me going.

I have really enjoyed everyone's posts and the thoughts for the day. Thanks, Eileen, for getting this going.

[sandytn]

Welcome, Mary Anne!!
Jan

[sandytn]

Welcome to TAW Mary Ann. The more the marrier.

[sandytn]

Recovering a Sense of Power / Some thoughts on Week 3

I am struck in this week's reading on Julia Cameron's praise of anger. Anger as a road map to our true feelings. Anger as a reality-check. Anger as a power source. How many of us are willing to endure our own anger long enough to hear what it is trying to tell us?

I have read elsewhere that depression is unacknowledged anger turned inward. How many depressed women are in your life?

Disavow the authority of the quilt / art police. No one need judge our art, our quilts, our lives ... but we ourselves.


Hopefully, this little rant makes sense to someone! :wink: