'Danger Point' - If Help Needed, Post Here!

[Lorchen]

I'm starting this thread because it may help some of us who are trying to become healthier,and now and then encounter similar situations to what happened to me today, and then want to react in a predictable way.

I find that I can stick to a healthy eating plan until my stress levels are pushed up. When that happens I want to 'reward' myself with food (anything sweet, or nuts, or cheese on crackers for me) because I know it calms me down. To resist this urge is soooooo hard.

If you recognize what I have described, please, post here. I know there'll be some supportive comments really soon, and it's much easier to cope when you have friends who give you strength - even when they are thousands of miles away.

I'm writing this tonight because I had a horrible day at work (long story) and know that the problems (caused by my line manager) will continue tomorrow. I'm ok after a long phonecall with one of my sons, but I don't always want to involve my boys. It's my problem, not theirs.

Anyway...... fortunately I gave all 'unsuitable' food to friends and family in September, and I'm too tired to go out and get a Chinese, or Chicken Biryani, or pick up a chocolate and toffee roulade from the super market.

So, what are your triggers that make you run for the chocolate cake or bottle of red wine?

Enough ramblings for tonight. I'm off to bed......... And thanks for listening!

[MAMA2TNT]

I'm with you, Lorchen! I can totally relate!

I have so many triggers that I don't want to list them. You will think that I am a basket case!

I usually run for the ice cream. Lately, it is been reaching for the box of chocolate candy left from Christmas. Sometimes it is choosing cheese and crackers rather than an apple and peanut butter for a snack.

I do give myself the treat of a square of dark chocolate one time each day. When I bake a sweet treat for my husband, I allow myself one small piece. I can usually leave the rest of it alone. I also allow myself a little ice cream one time a week.

If I am feeling good about life, I can easily choose a large salad for lunch. If I am weighed down with unwanted thoughts or feelings, lunch is leftovers from the previous day. I try to eat only one meal that has more calories and carbs than the rest of the meals of the day.

I try to stay away from corn chips. If I have one, I automatically go back for a dozen more.

It is a daily battle to eat right and exercise. I am determined to never be overweight again!

[lotti]

Stress, boredom and hormones. My thyroid makes the hormone balance go haywire and those PMS food cravings or pregnancy cravings can appear at any time. I can feel genuinely starved (and not for chocolate, but for anything carby that is around). When stressed or bored these are really difficult to handle. :?
My main solution is to keep busy... Especially keep hands busy when watching tv, listening to music, chatting with friends, even reading a book. If hands are busy they cannot shove food into my mouth. Hence the importance of having an on-the-go project that I ENJOY with me all the time. It calms me down, keeps hands occupied and gives pleasure all at the same time. Sometimes people have difficulties understanding that I can chat, listen and think while I'm sewing. But those who know me well, now know that having me sitting in a restaurant or lounge or bar with them also means watching me work on my latest sewing project, and selecting seats with the bet lighting available in the room. They have come to realize that I CAN join in their conversations and sew - quilters are multi-tasking -and so are good organizers. :P
But the moment I decide I'm too tired to pick up a project, those cravings try to take over :twisted:

[twiglet]

Lorchen it's your managers problem not yours we know you are a great person. I've not known you long but I know that!

It's good you have shared once with your boy, sometimes it does them good to support you and realise you are vulnerable as well as a rock and support for them which I'm sure you were when you had problems.

I know that you don't want to do it often because it will affect them the same as when you carried their burdens when they were down. I always found my boys told me how bad they were feeling about something and I fretted for them and they forgot to tell me they were ok again! :roll:

Come and tell us about your rotten line manager. I find writing it all down then tearing up the paper helps, it's not as fattening. Now where's the chocolate

[twiglet]

hi all,
i wish i knew what and how to help
have the same problem like every body else
hang on there.
i find some times words of encouragement just make me elevated to be more angry
so i really dont know what to say...because i know how i would feel....

[loise98]

Eye candy. That is one of my solutions. I can find lots of it on this website. Just like Lotti, keeping my hands busy helps me. We all need ways to calm and sooth ourselves. Its important to develop a list of activities both mental and physical that will do that. Actually, telling youself that you will find new healthier ways to sooth and then practice doing them will help. Telling yourself that there are other ways to sooth frazzled nerves and practice doing those things will actually create new neural pathways in your brain. You are not just changing your body by dieting but you are also changing your mind. Various forms of meditation can help with this. Just finish doing a training regarding these techniques. The research is impressive. Brains scans show changes in the brain. Lowering of blood pressure has been documented. (My husband has been able to reduce the amount of BP medication he takes by practicing meditation.) Blood studies indicate increase in immune functions. Meditation can help change the way your brain functions.

[anne1]

Hi Lorchen,
I have what I call "selective memory" I go shopping and I say to myself "DON'T BUY CHOCOLATE OR ICE CREAM" and when I get home there is chocolate and ice cream in my bag.
Where did that come from????? ops:
I don't remember that I wasn't going to buy any then of course I have to eat it otherwise it is such a waste of course the waste goes on my waist !!! :shock:

Keep on with the diet and tell the line manager to get lost or something like that. :wink:
Anne

[Reetzbobeetz]

Here's how I see it: There are people in life who make us feel good and there are people who make us feel bad. It sounds like your Line Manager makes you feel bad. The people who make us feel bad are to be given a wide birth. Unfortunately that's not always possible in the workplace. But, if you could get it into your head that 'Line Manager' = person who makes me want to eat the things that are bad for me, then that is the first step in shifting your own thinking.

1) Line Manager = person who makes me want to eat things that are bad for me. (And tear my hair out!)
2) line Manager = self-sabotage
3) Self-sabotage = disempowerment
4) Line Manager = disempowerment (Ask yourself this question - who gave the Line Manager that power over you?)
5) Recovery = taking back that power from the Line Manager to use for your own benefit and good health.

Take back the power which you have unconsciously given to the Line Manager. Every time you see the Line Manager do a mental note to yourself and say something like "you can't make me fail anymore. I am stronger than you. I take back the power I gave you (without realizing it) because I need it to give to my granddaughter, stone by stone."

I don't know what a 'Line Manager' is in your profession Lorchen, but in mine they are the people who control the money. Is it the same?

[Reetzbobeetz]

Lorchan, I'm sorry you have had such a lousy day. I think that Rita has a very interesting take on the situation.

Rita, in schools they don't necessarily control the money, but quite often you are working alongside your line manager and don't always get much time apart, which can be b*** awful if you don't get on with them.

I have to admit that I have found it easier to resist the temptations since starting my diet, especially as sugar has been kicked into touch (sugar is as addictive as heroin), but I have to watch out for sugary alternatives such as dates or sultanas sneaking past my guard. I'm not perfect, (I think I am getting hooked on the sugars in the linctus I have been prescribed for my cough :roll: ) But you have to also try to remember that it is not the first 'slip up' of the day that does all the damage, it is how you react to it and then continue for the rest of the day. Will you go

1) ops: I've eaten 1 choccy biscuit, but it stops here!
OR
2) ops: Since I've eaten 1 choccy biscuit and broken today's diet, I might as well not bother about the diet for the rest of the day - and eat the rest of the packet while it is there......

[pam7040]

Lorchen, I can't really offer any more advice than that already given.

I believe comfort eating gives the person causing your stress has power over you. Don't let them win!!! You are better than them. I had to smile at Rosemary. It is so easy to break the diet by one biscuit then eat the rest of the packet, or in my case so oftern the comment is 'I'll start the diet tomorrow.'

Yes we have always supported our kids and been there for them. As they get older they are busy with their own lives, but it does them no harm to realise that actually we parents have needs as well. Much better to offload to them than bottle it all and risk our physical and mental health.

I hope that the post here offer some encouragement. We are all here for you. Come and gripe at any time, we'l get back to you as soon as we can.

((((((((((Lorchen))))))))))

[snowplow3840]

Lorchn, When I was on a commercial diet plan, their advice was that if you had a serious craving, such as for chocolate have one piece or a very small portion of something like cake or ice cream and eat it slowly savoring every bite. Then get busy doing something and wait fifteen to twenty minutes, before having any more. Usually the craving will go away in that time. Also they suggested waiting fifteen to twenty minutes from the time you had the first craving before you had your one bite. Sometimes the wait will reduce the craving. But their advice was not to totallly deprive yourself or the next time the craving could be out of control. Stress will make the cravings stronger so doing some kind of stress reducing activity during the "wait" time is also helpful. Good luck with your diet and with your manager. Hugs Ann (drinking Earl Grey tea as I read the forum)

[snowplow3840]

Lorchen,

Swedish rye crackers (the Ryvita type) are healthy and low in calories and go great with a few triangles of Vache Qui Rit cheese which only have 20 cals per. You can have a satisfying "cheese fix" for about 100 calories - works for me so far... When do you retire?
Jeanine

[Lorchen]

Big hugs to everybody for their wisdom.

Jeanine, I reach retirement age (62 years and 2 months, but could work longer) in mid-July 2014.

I'm very determined not to let the behaviour of one person jeopardize my efforts to get healthier and stay healthier, but it's tough at times.

On the positve side: A national radio programme was broadcast from my school tonight ("Any Questions"). It's a discussion programme with a panel of well-known people, often politicians. The audience submits questions before the programme and a few get selected. I only stayed in school for this because one of our special needs kids wanted to stay. He is a bright lad, but in a wheelchair. His father was involved with running this event and so couldn't look after him himself. We both submitted a question. Mine was picked (you could have knocked me down with a feather) and I had to stand up in front of everybody and read it out (10 seconds of fame.... giggle). I overheard "my boy" telling someone after the recording session: "Question 2 was my TA. She is very good!"

[Renata]

I overheard "my boy" telling someone after the recording session: "Question 2 was my TA. She is very good!"

Lorchen, when a certain someone behaves unbecomingly toward you, as you take the high road, I also hope you will turn your mind to what "your boy" said this evening. If it were I, what you overheard, would pump me up for the rest of my days! What you do for him is what really counts in the end, so I hope you will hold that thought! You are truly one special human being! Making a difference in someone's life is what really counts.

[Margo]

Good job Lorchen!!